


Somethin' Stupid

by Kylux_TRASH



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asphyxiation, Blood, Blow Jobs, Bottom Hux, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Fight Sex, M/M, Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Freeform, Multiple Orgasms, No Lube, Overstimulation, Pain, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Kissing, Smut, Top Kylo Ren, cum, cumslut, mr and mr hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:39:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kylux_TRASH/pseuds/Kylux_TRASH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Mr. and Mrs. Smith au, featuring Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the amazing Kinkshamer2k16's au AND arwork!!! They were kind enough to actually redraw some of their original art, and even draw more!!! Go follow them!!!

This was not how his day was supposed to go. Brendol Hux couldn’t have guessed that after all these years of targets, and suspects, That his next one would be his own husband. The man he had been married to for nearly 15 years, and turns out he knew nothing about him. He stood in their kitchen hallway waiting for Kylo, or _whoever_ this guy was to make his move. He tried to listen for any sort of sounds. Bren guessed that he had some weapon of some sort. The guns in both of his own hands grew slightly cold. _Keep it together._

 _Pow! Pow! Pow!_ Kylo’s gun went off nearly squaring Bren in the head. Luckily, Kylo’s aim was terrible.

“You still alive babe?” Kylo’s voice rang out. Brendol groaned, and laid his gun on the floor, purposely clattering it in order to pretend that he was shot. He heard Kylo get up from the staircase and slowly descend from the stairs. Bren used his leg to slide from the hallway and he shot both guns at Kylo. Kylo shot his gun back. Both men slide out of the way and both missed their targets.

_Damn._ Hux’s gun was nearly empty he tiptoed to the kitchen to get another weapon.

☠X☠

X☠X

This was not the way his day was supposed to go. When the Knights told Kylo his next target he thought that this was some sort of sick joke. I mean, sure his husband was sort of secretive, but he never gave off the impression of being a spy. Not one for The First Order at least. Kylo tried to shake away the thoughts and focus on the task at hand. He pressed his back against the slim wall. He listened for Bren, he tried to figure out where he might be. Why was this happening to him? Even if he caught Bren, would he really want to kill him? His own husband? Kylo bit his lip as tears stung his eyes. _Keep it together._

He got up and crawled as best as he could on their hardwood floors. Which, wasn’t easy. There were glass shards and debris, so not only was Kylo not trying to get cut, but he was trying not to cut himself.

“Come out, come out wherever you are.” Kylo teased he shot his gun in the air once for emphasis. He sighed and got up, as he rose from off the ground, a knife came whizzing at him quickly. He leaned back, the knife barely missing his nose, stuck in the wall behind him, with a _DUNK!_ Kylo looked at the wall in disbelief. _Bren is good, too good._ He rounded the corner of the hallway and leaned against the wall. He tried to lower the sound of his breathing. He hit his head up against the wall. If he could see Bren, this would be so much easier. He took his smartphone out of his back pocket and used it as a mirror to look around his house. He spotted Bren in the screen. He was in the kitchen holding and inspecting knives. Every few seconds he’d look up, turning his head frantically to see if he saw Kylo. _Bren looks beautiful like this, slightly disheveled-_ enough! Kylo had to concentrate. His phone vibrated and glowed brightly. Of course his mother would call at this time.

“Shit!” Kylo sweared and immediately regretted it, he watched in the screen as Bren turned and smiled. Bren aimed and threw a knife in Kylo’s direction.. Kylo dropped his phone and jumped back Luckily for Kylo the knife got stuck in the phone, and nowhere near him. _Good thing I didn’t switch to Verizon just yet._ Although, verizon was not a major problem in his life as of now.

“Careful Kylo,” Bren laughed. Bren’s British accent carried throughout the entire house. His clear posh accent always intimidated others. Now, Kylo knew why. Kylo could hear Bren walking throughout the house, stepping on broken dishes and used bullets. Bren was trying to spook Kylo. He was sharpening some knives and the sound carried straight to Kylo’s ears. He couldn’t let Bren come anyway near hi-.

“ARH!” Bren exclaimed as he sliced Kylo’s cheek. Kylo immediately moved back and fell to the ground. Blood dripped from his cheek onto the floor creating a puddle of mess. His gun laid behind him and he turned to grab it. Bren however was faster and put his shoe against Kylo’s crotch. It was meant to hurt, but it also aroused Kylo. _Greatly._ Kylo moaned and grabbed onto Bren’s ankles, pulling him down. Kylo turned, grabbed his gun and ran to find shelter.

This was going to be a _very_ long night.

☠X☠

X☠X

This was going to be a _very_ long night. Bren sighed and cracked his neck. If he was going to die, or kill his husband he was going to do so while enjoying a cigarette. He pulled out a cigarette and stuck it into his mouth he lit it and he heard his husband chuckle.

“Aww, Brendol darling. Don’t you realize that smoking’s bad for you?” Kylo mused. Bren followed the sound of Kylo’s voice. He inhaled his cigarette, stared at his bloody and bruised knuckles,  and chuckled out a response.

“Yes, well you can thank cigarettes for doing your job for you.” Suddenly Kylo leaped behind Bren, toppling him down. Bren tried to get from underneath Kylo, but Kylo grabbed his arms and forced them behind him. He winced in pain. And looked back at Kylo who was smirking. Kylo put both of Brendol’s arms into one hand and felt down Brendol’s ass. Bren squirmed underneath from the touch. Kylo grabbed the gun sticking out of Bren’s back pocket. He picked it up, and Bren wiggled his hands and burnt Kylo in the thumb with his lit cigarette. Kylo, automatically threw his hand back crying out in pain and tossed the gun across the room. Bren took his chance, he lifted himself off the floor, Kylo immediately falling off of him. Kylo tried to grab his leg but Bren was faster and he used his other leg to kick Kylo’s face. Kylo fell back and grabbed his bloodied face.

“Come to daddy.” Bren said holding up fists he was smirking and rocking back and forth. Kylo, still holding onto his face turned to the right of him. _There’s that damn heirloom vase that Bren loves so much._ Kylo banged the table with his elbow the vase fell into Kylo’s lap. He grunted and threw it at Bren. The impact caused Bren to roll backwards and fall down. Kylo swung himself upward he marched over to where Bren laid on the floor and grabbed Him. He picked him up by the collar, and smashed Bren’s head with his own fist. Bren kicked Kylo in the groin. _Cheap move._ Kylo leaned to the side and fell over with Bren on top of him. Bren wrapped his hands around Kylo and lightly squeezed his neck. Bren knew damn well how much Kylo liked to be choked. Bren smirked and pressed harder. Kylo gasped and tried to monitor his breathing. He tried to move his hands up to push Bren off of him, but Bren once again, was faster he sat down fully on kylo and placed his feet on Kylo’s biceps so that he couldn’t move. Kylo jerked his hips up and causing Bren to feel his slightly hard dick against his ass. Bren jerked forward, his hold on both Kylo’s neck and biceps slipped. Kylo pushed Bren off of him. Bren gasped and breathed heavily he eye balled Kylo. His lip was cut from where Kylo smashed his great-grandmother’s vase into his face. His eye was swelling, and he was sweaty.

“Who’s your daddy now?” Kylo said smirking, he turned to get his gun. Bren got up, groaning as he did so, he ran up to Kylo and jumped on his back he wrapped his arm around his neck and started punching Kylo’s head. Kylo crooked his neck away from Bren’s blows. He took his arms and grabbed Bren, he threw him over the head and pressed his back into the wall. He lifted Bren’s arm above his head and stuck his knee in between Brendol’s legs. He felt Bren’s dick twitch against his knee. He raised his eyebrow at the ginger and Bren lamely shrugged. Kylo chuckled and stared into Bren’s emerald eyes. They were twinkling. Kylo rolled his tongue over his lips. Bren stared at Kylo and then at his lips. Kylo felt Bren’s dick twitch again. Kylo bent down and kissed his husband, his grasp on his husband’s arms slipped just a little. Bren slid his hands down from the wall and placed them in Kylo’s hair, deepening the kiss. He swiped his tongue over Kylo’s teeth and moaned. He massaged Kylo’s scalp then moved his hands to Kylo’s ears. He gave them a light tug. Kylo moaned and put his entire body into the kiss, he bit the top part of Bren’s lips tasting sweat and blood. Hux placed his hands behind Kylo’s head and rammed it straight into his own. Kylo stumbled and audibly gasped. He placed his hands to his temple. Bren wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

“You bastard” Kylo muttered, doubled over in pain. Bren sighed and tried to run past Kylo to grab a gun. But Kylo, wrapped his legs around Bren. Bren now carrying Kylo in his arms swung them around and he rammed Kylo into the wall. Kylo gasped and shook his head.

“Is that all you got?” He jeered. Bren snarled and Kylo moved his hands from behind Bren’s neck to his penis. He squeezed it sharply. Bren jerked forward and both men toppled over. Bren groaned and looked to his left. Kylo looked to his right. They both scrambled to grab their guns.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are they really going to kill each other?

They stood there. Staring at each other, guns pointed in their faces. Kylo stared into Brendol’s eyes. The man who he had loved. He waited for Brendol to shoot, make the first move. Nothing happened. _Just shoot me dammit._ Nothing. Kylo sighed,  closed his eyes and lowered his gun.

“No, come on!” Brendol thrusted his gun violently towards Kylo’s direction. When Kylo didn’t react, Brendol thrusted it at him harsher this time.

“Do it! Shoot me!” Brendol screamed frantically Kylo looked up into Brendol’s eyes. Brendol’s green eyes were bloodshot, there were bags under his eyes, and he was crying. Trying not to sniffle as a tear rolled down his cheek. _He’s never cried._. Kylo slowly shook his head. He dropped his gun on the ground.

“If you want this, then do it.” Kylo watched Brendol close his eyes, trying to stop the tears. Brendol bit his bottom lip and scrunched his face, the taste of tears and blood getting into his mouth. When he opened his eyes, he looked at Kylo solemnly. Kylo walked up to him and threw his gun aside. Immediately going for Brendol’s mouth. Bren rocked back at first, but then threw himself completely into the kiss. Kylo wrapped his arms around Hux, and drove further into Bren’s mouth. Brendol breathed out and went limp in Kylo’s arms, it was as if the weight and stress of their entire situation melted away. Every moan, flicker of a tongue, and the harsh yet warm press of this kiss, brought both men conviction and happiness. What these kisses meant, what impact they’d have in the future, it didn’t matter. What mattered now was how much they loved each other. And that they had chosen each other.

Kylo slowly slid his tongue out of Bren’s mouth and smiled warmly. Kylo caressed his cheek and Bren leaned into it, closing his eyes. Kylo nodded towards the kitchen -the only room in the house that wasn’t completely trashed- and Brendol nodded in agreement. He turned and held his hand out behind him for Kylo to grab. Kylo laced their fingers together and followed Bren. Once in the kitchen, Brendol jumped onto the island in the middle of the kitchen and laughed quietly as Kylo tangoed towards him. Kylo parted Bren’s legs and settled in between them. He glanced up at Bren. Bren bent down and kissed Kylo with the same warmth and determination as before. Hux placed his hands on Kylo’s shoulders, completely engrossed in the task at hand here. Kylo deepened the kiss by rolling his tongue over Brendol’s. Brendol moaned and Kylo pushed him back onto the island. Brendol wrapped his legs around Kylo’s broad shoulders. He shivered as Kylo rolled his pants down. The island’s marble top felt cool against his bare thighs. Kylo slowly palmed Brendol’s dick through his underwear. Kylo loved teasing Bren, watching his resolve slowly melt away with each touch. As if his sense of control only had one weakness. His husband thoroughly fucking him. Brendol moaned arching his back as Kylo only teased him, not even directly touching his deck yet.

“Ky, pp-please.” Brendol leaned up on his elbow gripping the sides of the island. Kylo smiled and slowly got up to kiss him some more. Kylo could taste Bren’s tears, blood, and sweat. Bren’s tongue snaked its way through Kylo’s mouth. Rolling it over every surface, his teeth, cheeks, tongue, even the roof of his mouth.

“Fuck me.” Brendol moaned against Kylo’s mouth. Kylo looked at his husband. Brendol’s eyes were wild, he was sweaty, and bloody, there was a bruise on his shoulder from where Kylo had bit and hit him. And yet, he looked absolutely beautiful. Kylo smirked.

“Anything for you babe.” Kylo sighed out. Bren laughed and eagerly watched as Kylo shrugged off his jacket. Kylo pulled on his belt, and it came off, he rolled his pants and underwear down. His cock fully erect. Bren lightly licked his lips. Kylo laughed and pulled them into one last kiss. He tore Bren’s underwear off. He tugged harshly at his dick before moving his finger down and lightly circling his finger against Brendol’s ass. Brendol moaned, and fell back from the kiss. His eyes were squinted shut, and he was flushed.

“Ky, ky baby, just, just fuck me!” Kylo raised his eyebrows, but wasn’t going to complain. He lined himself up and sank into Brendol. Both men moaned. Kylo threw his head back and breathed in, shakily. Bren gripped the sides of the island even harsher, the veins on his knuckles standing out even more from under his pale skin. Kylo rolled his head forward and studied Bren’s face.

“Ready?” Kylo asked. Bren didn’t even answer, just bit his lip and nodded quickly. Kylo lightly moved back and then forward, Bren wrapped his legs around Kylo’s waist, pressing him on. That was the only reassurance he needed. He began to fuck Bren, deeply unforgivingly fast. The kitchen was soon filled with the obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin, and the deep and guttural moans of two grown men. Kylo bent down and scooped Bren into his arms. As he lifted him into his arms, Brendol moaned and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He tighthened his legs around Kylo’s waist. Kylo pushed Bren against the wall and continued with his pace, only this time hitting Bren’s prostate with nearly every thrust. Bren blubbered, but then when Kylo started rolling his hips, It only took about three more thrusts for him to come, all over Kylo’s button down shirt.

“Ah, I’m, i’m sorry,” Bren mumbled as he watched his cum splatter against Kylo’s shirt.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Kylo held onto Brendol and coaxed him through his intense orgasm. Still holding Brendol in his arms, he turned them, so that his back was against the wall and slid down, till he was sitting, with Brendol in his lap. Brendol reached forward and kissed Kylo. He ran his finger’s through Kylo’s unruly hair and began to ride his dick. Surprised, Kylo pulled back from the kiss and could only watch as his beautiful husband bounced up and down on his dick. Brendol’s ass and body stung from the painful pleasure of overstimulation. Kylo sensing this, tried to get him to slow down.

“Babe, you, ah- you don’t have to,” Bren shut him up with another kiss. Pounding so forcefully on Kylo’s dick, Brendol’s ass smacked against Kylo’s lap. Kylo groaned into Brendol’s mouth as he came. He pulled back.

“fffuuck,” Kylo’s cum filled up Brendol’s ass, and Bren shivered, rolling his hips slightly to get as much of it into his ass as possible. Kylo sighed heavily and leaned his head against the wall. Hux leaned against him. None of them said anything for a while. The only sound in the entire house was of their heavy breathing, as both allowed themselves to relax into the warmth and afterglow of sex. Brendol eventually stood up, his ass and limbs ached. He sat next to Kylo. Kylo turned to consider him, and laughed. Bren stared at him in shock before laughing right back. Bren leaned his head against his husband’s shoulders, loving the way that they shook with laughter. Kylo groaned, he stood up and offered his hand to Brendol to help him stand. Brendol winced as he stood. His muscles were tight and burning. As he stood he stared into Kylo’s brown eyes. Kylo blinked at him and kissed him. Tenderly. Brendol leaned back and Kylo reached back and rubbed Brendol’s back into the kiss. Bren lazily lifted his arms around Kylo’s neck. They would’ve gone at it again if not for the loud knock on their door, and the ring of their doorbell. Bren abruptly pulled back from the kiss. His eyes flickered from the door to Kylo. The doorbell rang again.

“Dammit,” Brendol cursed.

☠X☠

X☠X

Kylo was expecting some trained assassins, or an agency of some sort at his door. Not his obnoxiously noisy neighbors and their adopted daughter, “Rey.” _“She’ll be a ray of sunshine in our lives.”_ Kylo remembered Poe saying at her baby shower. They were accompanied with a police officer. Kylo eyes flickered between them, his face slightly twitched as he realized how he must look. Disheveled was the nice way of putting it. His face was bruised and bloodied. His hair was sticky. His skin was salty from sweat from both trying to kill his husband, and sex. Thankfully, they couldn’t see the rest of his body because it was hidden behind the door, along with Brendol who was holding a gun. Once Kylo realized who it was Kylo signaled for him to hide the weapon. He heard Hux hurriedly pace behind him.

“Hi, hi!” Kylo said trying to sound as normal and suburban as possible.

“Hi,” Finn smiled back before staring at Poe.

“What can I do for you, tonight?” Kylo asked flashing a smile.

“We heard some screaming?” Poe said like it was a question. He gripped onto his daughter tighter. The police officer sighed. She was tall, taller than Kylo even. She had short blonde hair that went well with the dark blue of her uniform. She looked _completely_ bored with this.

“Sir, the screams were called in by a few residents in this neighborhood. I’m going to have to come inside and sear-” Kylo felt Bren lightly Pull the door back, fully exposing them to Poe, Finn, their daughter and the officer. Kylo was wearing nothing but his cum stained button down shirt and his boxers, and some dirty blood stained socks. Brendol had thrown on Kylo’s jacket, on his body frame it completely drowned him, and a new pair of boxers. Hux’s face was almost worse off than Kylo’s. He still had blood dripping from his shoulder and cheek. If he thought that he looked suspicious, before, Brendol only made it worse.

“Hi, Damerons, so sorry for the noise..” Brendol smiled. Finn rolled his tongue in his mouth and sucked in his cheeks looking everywhere but at the two men in front of him. Poe bit his lip and nodded at them, blushing slightly. It was then that Kylo realized that it probably didn’t look like they had both just tried to murder the other, but rather that they just had kinky, loud, and rough sex. Kylo smirked and wrapped his arm around Brendol’s waist. He stared directly at Poe. Poe cleared his throat.

“Wow, I uh, okay.” Poe tugged on his husband’s leather jacket and Finn nodded. They quickly retreated, practically running across the street back into their house.

“I’m so sorry, officer- Phasma is that you?!” Brendol’s face completely lit up, Phasma stared at him her face twitching slightly and she beamed. He reached forward to hug her, and they quickly conversed, Kylo ried to listen to what they were saying, but was distracted by the view of Brendol’s ass. Kylo stood there, awkwardly trying to hide his growing erection. Eventually he reached down and placed his chin on Brendol’s shoulder. Bren rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Ah, this one.” He patted Kylo’s hair, shaking his head at Phasma.

“We HAVE to catch up someday! I mean, not when I’m half naked and you’re trying to arrest me!” Phasma laughed at his slight joke.

“Of course we do Brendol! I’m sorry about all of this, I’ve gotta head back to the station, it was good seeing you!”

“You too!” Brendol waved her off as she walked to her police car. Brendol watch as she drove off. He reached forward to close their door and locked it. He sighed.

“How do you know he-” Kylo’s question was cut off as Brendol turned him over and threw him into the wall. He quickly kissed him and rubbed his own erection against Kylo’s. Kylo whimpered.

They fucked all night. Whether it was Bren giving him a blowjob in the doorway, swallowing every last drop of Kylo’s cum. Or if it was Kylo bending Brendol over the couch in their living room, pounding into his ass. Of if it was them on the floor desperately trying to get the other off. Rubbing their fingers over their dicks, while making out messily on the floor in the hallway. They fucked slowly, and tenderly, to prevent the other from cumming too quickly. They made love as if this was the last time that they would ever touch each other again. It had to be almost four in the morning when finally, they tired themselves out. Kylo sighed heavily, drooping as he leaned against the kitchen wall. How they got there was beyond him. Kylo, scooted Brendol close to him, and held him into his arms as they both fell asleep. What they were doing, or where they were going, it didn’t matter. All that did matter, was that they had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for that ending. I might add more to this story, but for now, this is all I've got!
> 
> Okay, [here's ](http://8tracks.com/kylux_trash/somethin-stupid) a playlist I made for this au/fic, because I literally can't write without background music haha.  
> And [here's ](http://exadorlion.tumblr.com/tagged/mr-and-mrs-smith-au) all of the artwork Kinkshamer2k16 drew for this fic! <3  
> Also my tumblr is [otp-kylux](http://otp-kylux.tumblr.com/)


End file.
